Five ways to make the most out of therapy
Whether receiving therapy on the NHS or privately, it is a significant step to choose to share our most vulnerable parts with someone. The therapeutic relationship is like no other, and can be the most rewarding and life-changing experience if we know what to look out for. Here are five ways on how we can make the most out of therapy:
1) Find the right therapist
Therapy is an intimate relationship and in order to feel comfortable sharing parts of ourselves, we need to make sure we pick a therapist that is the right fit. When searching for a therapist privately, making a checklist of our values, non-negotiables and personal needs is key. For example, having a preference for the therapist’s background that may match our own (such as BIPOC), which types of therapies they offer (such as counselling, psychotherapy or CBT), how they work with clients (long term or short term, online or in person) or payment preferences (like if they work on a sliding scale or whether they accept insurance payments) can all impact our experience. When getting in touch, taking note of how we feel communicating over the phone or via email and asking questions provides an opportunity to notice compatibility. A few websites worth mentioning when seeking a therapist in the UK are: BAATN (The Black, African and Asian Therapy Network), Counselling Directory (provides a search option via postcode), UKCP (UK Council for Psychotherapy) and BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy). If seeking therapy through the NHS, finding the right therapist may not be an option, which leads to point two.
2) Communicate
Working with a therapist in such a personal way, means conflict may arise. This may show up as facing resistance to go to therapy, a disagreement in the type of therapy we are receiving, or feeling discomfort with a therapist because of something they said or did. Although it might be difficult and uncomfortable to communicate, therapy is supposed to be a safe space where we are free to express our feelings and needs while being held by a professional who recognises us in all our individualities and intersectionalities. A good therapist will explore why we may be struggling, validate our feelings by listening and may own up to any human or judgement errors they make. However, if there is an issue of feeling unsafe or unseen on occasions where we have communicated our needs, it is crucial to consider requesting treatment by another colleague in the same department or a different service location, particularly if we are receiving therapy on the NHS.
3) Take notes
Therapy can sometimes be overwhelming whether we have a great or a difficult session. Writing notes, keeping a journal or even checking in via voice note with a trusted loved one helps with processing thoughts, feelings, memories or bodily sensations that may come up during or post-session. This is especially useful to track our progress and remind us of our journeys, hold ourselves accountable and keep note of any recommendations by our therapists when we need a little extra support, whether through books, podcasts or self-care practices. Since writing is a private form of communication, it does not have to be shared and can be the first way of openly and honestly communicating with ourselves, even if through creative practices, such as creating poetry. This gives us the opportunity to learn more about ourselves, our boundaries, and practice what we have learned.
4) Build a tribe
We heal within communities. Having a great support network through friends, family, or online events can be a brilliant reminder that we are not alone, particularly when we are surrounded by others who understand the journey through all its peaks and troughs. This is especially important following the isolation of COVID-19, as we not only survive but thrive in community.
5) Self-care
Rest is an act of resistance and finding the space for sacred pause is crucial, whether engaging in therapy or in everyday life. Through practice, rest becomes a habit and we deserve the right to nurture ourselves, whether through a gentle post-therapy walk in nature, putting on a face mask once a week or mindfully drinking a cup of tea every morning. It is important to remember that the process of healing is a series of building blocks and requires time, reminding us to be kind, patient and compassionate with ourselves.
